Time for Change

 

Being in one’s forties is turning out to be pretty interesting. It’s a time of embracing change, even initiating it. This is the time when my hedonistic friends are turning to yoga and spirituality. The prudes are learning to live a little, joining belly dancing and salsa classes, sipping some wine occasionally and trying to loosen up. The secadas are becoming ants, and vice versa. That is, the carefree ones are hiring financial consultants to teach them how to improve their financial health, save for a rainy day and so on. The ones who had planned for a rainy day, in the meantime, have learnt that life has scant respect for your plans and waiting to live after retirement is silly because who knows whether you will still be around to see that day.

So the straight-as-an-arrow ones are embracing their wild side, kicking up secure corporate jobs, listening to their heart which tells them to write that book, teach underprivileged kids, open that café, etc. This is also the time when we are becoming mindful of our mortality as we witness our parents growing old. The smokers are quitting the habit, the drinkers are cleaning up their act (voluntarily or because it’s what their health chart is telling them to do.) Essentially, it’s a time of great movement out of our comfort zones and into a more exciting, different space.

I learnt to drive recently, in my forties. I had an interesting driving instructor who while teaching me how to drive said something in Hindi that I am trying to apply to the rest of my life. ‘Madam, itna darne ka nahi, thoda daring rakho.’

Don’t be so afraid, be a little daring!

It was exactly the advice I needed to take me ahead.

Now those who knew me as a schoolgirl would never imagine that I needed to be told to be braver. I was confident, top of my class and quite popular with my classmates and teachers.

But then life happened. I’ve had anxiety attacks manifest in strange ways for the longest time. Migraines, back spasms have dogged me for years and sabotaged a lot of good times. When I was in college it was milder. But with the years, I did not change gears as per the demands of the road ahead. When the path is uphill, you’ve got to push harder. ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. I didn’t. Heartaches, heartbreaks, mean bosses, manipulative colleagues. Who hasn’t had their share of them? Those who are able to focus on their vision, accept and deal with the obstacles along the way. The rest of us are so thrown by adversity or unpleasant experiences that we become the armchair travelers of life.

My driving instructor’s words were the wake-up call I needed in my forties. They continue to help me overcome my diffidence. Take his advice, if like me, you too need to be just a little bit bolder. Dare to dream once more. Dare to allow those dreams to become reality. Dare.